LOTR Commentary, Part 2 (this movie is HOW long?!)

It's dark out now. Watching the Return of the King without Travis here is looking like a worse and worse idea. Did I mention I scare easily? And I totally forgot about the whole paths of the dead thing, which I did not remember at all when I was reading the books. So: Sasquatch and I have closed all the blinds and checked the locks. Luckily she is a pro barker with a fierce protective streak.
Commentary continued:
That Gollum is such a jerk! He threw away the lembas, and convinced Frodo that Sam is his enemy! Not in the book. The steward of Gondor is a jerk too, telling Faromir he preferred his brother. That is in the book.
On the other hand, Theoden, king of Rohan, is great. I liked him in the book, and in the movie. I love how Legolas and Gimli ride together on a horse. I bet that when Tolkien was writing the books, and he decided to have them ride everywhere together, he had no idea how cute it would look on film.
Sometimes I like to think about this: if the people I know were living in New Zealand when the LOTR movies were filmed, what would they be cast as? Travis could be a human. I would probably be a hobbit. And Sasquatch would be an oliphant, obviously.

See the resemblance?
Actually, she could be Shadowfax, Gandalf's horse, because Shadowfax is fast, loyal, and beautiful.
Gandalf just knocked out Lord Denethor, the steward of Gondor, because he was being chicken. It was awesome!
Halfway there! I just switched to disk 2, and went to put disc 1 in its Netflix return envelope to send back. The only problem: there's a huge bite taken out of the middle of the envelope. I wonder who did that?
If we are only now getting to the giant spider, then what did Frodo and Sam do for all of the second movie? Fall down a lot? That's probably it. It's getting close now. Time to turn the volume down. It's the best way I know to make an intense scene a little less scary.
Sam found the lembas bread! Now he just has to find/rescue Frodo. Not a big deal.
Sam is fighting Shelob, the spider. I have given up sitting on the big couch, which Sasquatch is not aloud to sit on, and gone to sit next to her on the smaller couch (which is fair game for puppies when covered by the green blankets).
Here comes the king of the Nazgul. He fights with a mace. Time to defeat him, Eowyn and Charlie from LOST. Eowyn just said "I am no man." After the King of the Nazgul was all "No man can kill me." In the words of my sistas, the Spice Girls, GIRL POWER.
If someone ever says to me, "I hold your oath fulfilled. Go. Be at peace," I will know that something big just went down, even if I'm having short-term memory loss.
Mordor looks way scarier in the movie than I pictured it when I was reading. I guess that's the benefit of not watching scary things: my brain doesn't go there automatically. I was picturing West Texas, maybe, with a few less cacti (though definitely still cacti), and a few more orcs.
Now my favorite thing from the books is going to happen. Sweet Eowyn and even sweeter Faromir are going to fall in love. I hope she doesn't stay angsty too long. They are going to be so happy together! Also, the music that plays around Eowyn reminds me of Riverdance.
Sam's big speech! "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" Don't you just want to chant "RUDY. RUDY"?
And then a bunch of eagles randomly show up. I forgot about the talking Eagles. I hope they at least don't talk in the movie. WHAT?! They just rescued Frodo and Sam. Those Eagles are HUGE. Unnecessary, Peter Jackson.
And now everything's peachy. Even the lighting is peachy. Thank you for keeping me and Sassy company during the scary parts, blog. I don't think we'll need you for all ten endings.