Sunday, November 27, 2011

Here we go!

When you get a lot of headaches, you hear about a lot of different cures and preventative measures.  It's only natural for people to want to help, and I appreciate any and all advice that comes my way.  (Okay, I appreciate almost any advice; if you tell me to take an Excedrin for my migraines, I might have to chuck 30 different failed prescription pill bottles at you.) 
But trying out all those different cures is time consuming, expensive, and sometimes more exhausting than the headaches themselves.  I have tried:
  • just about every headache medication on the market, plus a bunch not indicated for headaches, both prescription and over-the-counter
  • avoiding medication for months to rule out rebound headaches
  • chiropractic adjustments
  • seeing a nutritionist
  • herbal supplements (lots)
  • acupuncture
  • cupping
  • getting reading glasses
  • more exercise
  • less exercise
  • more water (seriously- I drink enough water)
  • a high-protein, low fat diet
  • more salt
  • a diet that restricts anything dried, fermented, or aged
  • more sleep
  • less sleep
  • regular sleep
  • less reading
  • regular meals
  • vitamins
  • magnesium spray
  • avoiding all scented chemicals
  • keeping track of everything I eat and do
  • blood tests, brain scans, etc.
  • less work
  • moving to a different climate
  • IV infusions of the stongest headache medicines available
I am currently on day 3 of the latest attempt: going gluten-free.  This is something I have been avoiding for years because I am possibly the world's biggest fan of bread, but it's gotten to the point that I can no longer tell someone my head hurts without them asking if I've tried going gluten free.  So I'm trying it for a month.  I am not confident, however, that it will work, since I have a very impressive track record when it comes to testing negative for things and being resistant to any and all cures (my favorite neurologist in Texas called my headaches "intractable," which in layman's terms means "I'm totally stumped").

Here is my experience so far:
  • Day 1: Shopped for super expensive gluten-free food.  Mom and I were sad to find out that the gluten-free store where my parents live is going out of business, but pleasantly surprised that everything was half off!  It was the day after Thanksgiving, so the leftover rolls sitting in front of me on the dinner table were a huge temptation (have I mentioned I'm a little into bread?), but I didn't feel too deprived, especially once mom made gluten-free gravy.  Thanks mom!
  • Day 2: Felt very sick and headachy, but this had nothing to do with the gluten-free diet (though I considered making up an elaborate story about how it was clear my body needed wheat flour to survive).  Went to my brother and sister-in-law's house for dinner, where I could eat just about everything!  Meat and veggies seem to be a theme with my family, which is a very very good thing.  I decided I didn't know when I would be able to eat so much good food again, so I ate until I looked four months pregnant (according to my family).
  • Day 3: On the drive home from the Westside of Washington, we stopped into McDonald's for lunch.  I walked up to the counter and confidently ordered the Chicken Selects.  Then I realized my error, and said, "wait, no, nevermind, I can't have those . . . I don't need anything."  The poor girl at the counter was super confused.  A quick glance at the menu made it clear that McDonald's was out (part of my existing migraine diet forbids salad dressing, and I am NOT paying $4 for a plastic container of dry lettuce at a fast food restaurant, thank you very much).  For dinner I made gluten-free shell pasta, which was so al dente it was nearly crunchy, even though I followed the instructions on the box.  Maybe I under-cooked it?  Over-cooked it?  Maybe people who can't have wheat like to feel like they are working for their pasta?  Who knows. 
And now I can't even focus because there is a loaf of wheat bread in the fridge and it will definitely go bad in the next few days if no one eats it and there is no way Travis is going to eat an entire loaf of wheat bread and isn't wastefulness a sin? 
I think I may have met my match with this whole "no bread" thing.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Complaining

Truth: I love facebook.  I am not great at staying in touch with people, and my friends are scattered all over the country, so it's really helpful.  However, sometimes facebook is reduced to a forum for complaining.  I'm guilty of it.  And it's not normally legitimate complaining either (I do believe that if, say, someone hits your grandmother with a car, you are justified in venting about that person on the internet).  Most of the complaints on facebook are riduculous, because what they really accomplish is revealing just how grateful we should be. 

Case in point: "I am so so so sick and I am stuck in bed all day watching movies and sipping tea."
Why this is a lame complaint: If your lifestyle/financial situation allows you to stay home and rest when you are sick, you should be praising the Lord!  Many people have small children they need to chase around the house when they are sick, or jobs they need to go to no matter how sick they are, or both.  Also, there are people you know, people who are reading your posts on facebook (or whose loved ones might be reading your posts on facebook), with the kind of illnesses that cannot be cured by rest and tea. 

I am very aware of the "complaining about something I am actually very lucky to have" problem every time I am tempted to write anything negative about traveling all the time (which reveals I have a job), missing my husband (which reveals I have a husband), or the roads in Spokane (which reveals that I have a car).  My old litmus test for complaints used to be, "Is this a serious problem?"  Now I am modifying this to include, "Am I hurting or offending or seriously annoying someone by complaining about something for which I should be very grateful?"  Most likely I will never be able to think of anything to write ever again.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Bullet points (travel edition)!

  • Here is something I never considered before working in Higher Education: skipping your mature, intelligent, and motivated elementary-school child forward a grade or two may seem like a great idea.  In a few years, though, that child will be 15 or 16, and they will be applying to colleges, and possibly moving into dorms where they are surrounded by 18-22 year-olds, and the whole thing creates a bit of a dilemma for colleges.  Even if a 16-year-old feels ready to move out on their own and far away from their family, should they?  And even if they are really mature, is it a good idea to throw them into the stressful college environment?  And which 18-year old do you pick to room with the super-young freshman?
  • I believe that hotel restaurants should not have the word "bunion" in their names.  Someone at this Holiday Inn disagrees with me.
  • I have mentioned before that people point out how young I look at every single high school I visit.  That's approximately 2 staff members at approximately 4 high schools a day for approximately 9 weeks of travel.  I am pretty used to this now and have several prepared responses that I rotate through so as not to sound too rehearsed.  In the last few weeks, however, I've gotten a few comments that have thrown me for a bit of a loop.  Keep in mind that these comments have all come from complete strangers within the first 10 seconds or so of meeting me.  They include:
    • "You look like you should be in a fairy tale" (???)
    • "You're adorable!" (This one was paired with her shaking my hand, then squeezing it, then holding on to it for a looong time while she gave me directions to the career center)
    • "One day some nice guy will come along and appreciate how young you look" (Hmm . . . I wonder what Travis will think)
  • I know it shouldn't be a big deal, but I felt really relieved when I pulled up to a gas station today and realized that I was in California, which meant I could pump my own gas!  I can't recollect ever being in the car with an Oregonian while they pulled up to the pump and let the attendant pump their gas, and hence I am constantly worried about doing something wrong.  Plus, as discussed in past blog posts, sometimes you are in a hurry and just want to pump your own gas instead of waiting for the one stressed-out, super busy attendant.
  • Here is a little family of bottled waters I received today:
Clearly I looked less thirsty when I was at Foothill High School than I did at Shasta High and the hotel check-in counter

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Bust a move

The Huskissons have moved.  That marks five times in less than three years, if you count the five weeks we lived with our friends last year (which I do, because it still meant putting everything in one place, then moving it all to another place, even though it was mostly still in boxes the second time around.  Okay, maybe we'll call it a .5?). 

My parents say that all newlyweds do this and it is absolutely to  be expected, though they did no such thing.  As far as I can tell, my parents have moved four times in almost 33 years of marriage.  Or I should say that they have moved themselves four times, since my parents have helped friends and children move dozens of times.  They are moving experts, and without them, Travis and I would not have made this move with our sanity in tact.  Travis is actually really good at packing, lifting, finding places for things, etc., but in my list of skills moving rates somewhere down between "levitating" (totally impossible without a miracle) and "petting rats" (so terrifying tears pour out of my eyes).  Also, there was the issue of timing.  We decided one Friday that we would be moving.  We had to do the actual move the following weekend, then be completely out of our old house and turn it over clean the weekend after that.  During that two week period:
  • I was home for less than four days.  In the time I was home, I needed to spend at least eight hours in the office getting ready for my trips. 
  • The Rangers were in the World Series.  This is no big deal, unless you are born and raised in Texas, live and breathe sports, consider the Rangers your favorite team of all time, and have supported them through over 25 years of generally not being very good.  I really really wanted Travis to be able to watch all of the games.
  • Travis had three huge tests, one in biology, one in chemistry, and one in physics, in a two-day period. 
I saw all of these obstacles, as I am apt to do (apparently my first reaction to hearing any plan or idea is to immediately share at least 5 reasons why it won't work.  Not the best quality in a spouse), and felt like it was impossible.  But God is bigger than our problems, and brought some big-time helpers in my parents and our friend Brad.  There were some minor snafus:
  • torrential downpour just as we were moving all of the nicest furniture across town in the bed of my dad's pickup
  • our lovely puppy bounding about the parking lot with such enthusiasm that she injured the arm of my father in the middle of all the lifting
  • the guy coming to set up our television and telling us that we can't actually use our old service in our new apartment so we would have no television for a few weeks, which was a particular problem since it was the MIDDLE OF THE WORLD SERIES
and some solutions:
  • apparently a hair dryer is all it takes to keep a very wet suede couch from getting ruined (and boy are we lucky we paid extra for the special "stain coat" when we bought that couch)
  • my dad is capable of using what he calls "physics" to lift things with one arm
  • there is a clubhouse with a tv at the apartment complex, and Travis was able to watch at least part of 6 games there
Mostly it just went really well, and the clean-up the next weekend, sans parents, was a dream.  We left that house in beautiful condition after about 7 hours of cleaning and celebrated by curling up in front of the fireplace in our apartment (which works without sending billows of smoke across the living room, a la the fireplace at our old house!) and watching a movie (because we do not currently have television).  The whole experience made me marvel at the way God carries us through the little things that we think are big things (like moving to an apartment 15 minutes away to save money), the medium-sized things (like having terrible headaches all the time or not being able to pay the bills) and the actual big things.  He is always with us.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

My double life

This afternoon I am taking a break from reviewing applications to blog.  I am traveling again this week (just a few more weeks to go!), and I have been thinking a lot about how strange it is to travel around by yourself all the time.  Here a few things that are different about my life on the road:
  • When I travel, I am much more diligent about safety.  I refuse to ride the elevator with men I do not know.  If I do end up in that situation, I get off the elevator and go the wrong way on purpose, or stop to check my phone, or do something else so that said strange man/men will not see where my room is.  If I am walking across a dark parking lot I will take off my laptop bag and carry it in my hand, because I have actually thought about using it for self defense/ditching it and running if necessary.  I also drive very very cautiously, which I try to do all the time, but is much harder to do when you are on your regular paths at home.
  • When I travel I notice that it is very easy to become selfish.  I always tend toward selfisness, but at home there is a dog to be cared for, a husband to feed, and co-workers to get to know and empathize with.  On the road I interact with people, but rarely anyone I actually know.  Even when I do see people, my interactions with them are brief.  Admissions counselors actually spend the large part of their time alone, driving, eating, staying in hotels, and working on computers in coffee shops.  I can do this all on my own time without regard to anyone else's feelings, and that is something you don't experience when you have parents and siblings and roommates and husbands and dogs around you all the time.  (I should point out that the closest I have ever come to living alone was 4 months renting a room in Seattle before I got married . . . I lived with a woman and her son and 2 other renters, but didn't know any of them well, and I was never there.  You have probably lived alone before and think I am a total wimp for feeling like it's strange.  That is valid.)  I provide all of that background in order to say that I often end up acting selfishly and thinking self-centered thoughts when I am traveling.  I say strange things to baristas and high school counselors.  I am cold and detached with grocery store check-out clerks.  This past week I have been remembering to pray more for the people I interact with, and it has really been helping.  I have especially been praying before I go into high schools and talk with staff and students, and I love the way God reminds me to empathize and care and ask questions about their lives.  It's only a few hours a day, but it makes a big difference!
  • When I travel my diet is completely different.  One of the perks of traveling for work is that food is paid for.  I am hugely grateful for this because I usually have no place to prepare meals, and prepared food is way more expensive than raw ingredients.  I am also grateful because I loooove food, and on the road I have a chance to buy and eat things I only dream of the rest of the year: Red Robin teriyaki chicken burgers (I have had 3 this fall), Whole Food soups (my lunch almost every day), all kinds of Chinese/Korean/Thai take-out (Travis is not a big fan, so I don't make much of these foods at home), and wildly delicious Odwalla juices.  As you may expect, this altered diet makes my stomach feel totally strange all the time.  It is also worth it.  I have been able to go almost two months so far without anything that strictly qualifies as fast food (unless you include things like Chipotle burritos, which I do not, since I can't have any of the ingredients that make a burrito unhealthy), but that does not mean my body is happy with my choices. 
  • When I travel, I talk to Travis about 15 minutes a day.  This is a huge change from when I am home, and we spend a lot of evening and weekend time together.  I shared this with a friend who thought it was strange we talked so little, but there is really not much to say after a few weeks.  Most of my days are similar and uneventful (this is a very good thing!), and it only takes a few minutes to tell the occasional funny story about a student at a college fair.  Travis is in school full-time and ridiculously busy with studying.  Our marriage is healthy and happy as ever, and I love our time together on the weekends, but we have both always been comfortable spending time doing our own things.  I love this about us, and I know that it has been God's gift during this season of being apart so much.  I do believe that we were designed by God for each other, and that we were designed as a married couple to handle the unique challenges of my job.
Okay, time to go grab dinner, then back to my hotel to review applications.  I love my job, but I am looking forward to being home soon!

Opinions and theories!

My experience indicates that it is entirely possible for students to graduate from many (most?) high schools in the United States without the ability to write well.  Furthermore, it is possible for a student to graduate high school at the top of his/her class, with a 4.0 GPA, even, and write a truly un-readable college application essay.
I'm never sure how much "insider information" I can/should share about the college admissions process now that I am in the know.  It's fairly fascinating (to me . . . you might be bored out of your mind already), but it's also a subject that requires sensitivity.  The college search process, the way schools select students, and the ways students and parents react to rejection from colleges are all deeply personal.  Over the past year I've fallen into a pattern of being candid with family and close friends, but fairly discreet on the internet.  (This, I think, is a good philosophy when it comes to sharing just about anything.)
But I'm guessing you already know that there are all sorts of problems facing high school graduates today, so hopefully I am not crossing a line in corroborating that story with personal experience.
I will say that I have no concrete idea why students struggle to write well, but that I do not blame their teachers. The teachers I know work hard and care about their students deeply, but have huge numbers of students to work with and little to no time for grading and providing feedback.  Teachers are amazing, intelligent people who would give anything to help their students realize that they are also amazing and intelligent. 
I do have a few vague theories why students struggle to write well, though.  They are (in no particular order):
  1. Students in high school, middle school, and even elementary school (and, if The Nanny Diaries is to be believed, Park Avenue pre-schools) are wildly over-committed.  They are expected to be part of clubs and teams and scouts and classes and lessons and youth groups and volunteer organizations, and to do all of this while keeping up their grades.  I posit that you can have a worthwhile youth without being involved in ten different organizations, and I can say from experience that you do not need all of these to be admitted to college.  I tell students that I am looking for a few meaningful extra-curricular activities that they wish to continue in college.  Some students list a dozen clubs and teams in the activities section of their college applications without checking "I plan to continue in college" for a single one.  This leads me to believe that they are not actually happy participating in a dozen extracurricular activities, but that they feel they must.  I'll admit that I'm impressed when a student is class president, captain of the soccer team, an Eagle Scout, on the youth worship team at their church, takes violin lessons, and works at McDonalds (and I see this level of extra-curricular acheivement quite frequently).  But I also wonder when they sleep, and I don't wonder when I see that their writing has suffered.  I feel like giving them a hug, a free pass to quit a few things (if they want), and a talk about how they are worthwhile without all that.  Some students are genuinely interested in all of their extra-curricular activities: Travis played 6 sports growing up, and loved every minute, and I always begged my parents to let me take more dance classes.  But regardless, over-committed students are sleep deprived and have little time for school.  And honestly, even though I was in Student Government and dancing and involved in my church, many of my friends were doing much more.  I am really glad that I had parents that told me that school was my job.  They are the only reason I spent my extra time on homework and sleep, and not on things like National Honor Society (you do NOT need this to get into a good college). 
  2. The internet/texting/instant messaging, etc. have made it okay to write without regard for grammar, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation.  As my middle school band teacher always said (and yes, I quit band when I had too much going on), "Practice makes permanent, not perfect."  If you spend 3 hours a day writing sentences with no punctuation, your punctuation is guaranteed to be a complete mess when it actually counts.  It's like practicing a piece of music in the wrong key for a month, then going into a concert and expecting to play it perfectly in the correct key.
  3. Students are forced to read terrible books in school, hence they don't think they love reading, hence they don't read for pleasure, hence they don't have a lot of examples to draw on when they are writing.  A friend of mine from college is having her high school students read the Hunger Games trilogy for English class.  I will never read those books because I have  no tolerance for violence anymore, but I am absolutely in support of her plan.  Get those students reading books they actually like!  The books I was asked to read in high school, with a few exceptions (Les MiserableHuck Finn!), were depressing and a little (to a lot) dry.  Give 100 high school students The Winter of Our Discontent as an example of the most worthwile books of all time and I guarantee that most of them will come to the conclusion that there must not be anything good out there.  I do believe that my love of reading has made me a fairly intuitive writer.  I know I am not some sort of writing savant (the truly terrible book I wrote in the third grade about Santa Claus is evidence of this), but I don't have to think much about subject-verb agreement and sentence fragments today because I have read hundreds and hundreds of well-written books.  And I know there are lots of good books out there for teens because those are the books I still gravitate toward today (they tend to contain less sexual content and violence, and are fairly easy to read). 
  4. Students think proofreading/editing is boring but necessary.  Proofreading is actually kind of fun!  Years and years of dance have made me value a good critique when it is given respectfully (and when I have actually asked for it).  Most students know the value of critique and polishing when it comes to everything but their schoolwork.  I'm not sure how this mindset can be extended to writing in schools, but maybe it should involve candy?  What I do know is that proofreading is vastly under-utilized on college applications and application essays.  I'm fairly convinced that many students finish up their essays and never want to think about them again, so they don't.   
  5. Maybe it has always been the case that the majority of people are not strong writers (How long have we been a mostly-literate society, anyway?  110 years?  Not that long.), but it is only now that we expect them to be.  We expect everyone to be brilliant at everything, and the reality is that is just not how we are made.  If our ability to succeed in college, the work force, and life was determined by our ability to throw and catch a football, I might be the subject of a blog about how America's youth are failing to measure up.  Maybe it is not students or education that are broken, but our expectations?
Those are my theories.  They are probably all wrong.  I will say this, though: I think that standardized tests (the SAT and ACT) get a bad rep as biased and completely useless.  While I am proud to work for one of the few colleges that allows students to choose whether or not they would like to submit test scores as part of their application, I still believe that SAT and ACT scores correlate fairly well to writing ability.  This may not be the case for subtle differences (a student with average SAT scores may be a stronger writer than a student with slightly above-average scores who has been able to afford a prep class).  But sometimes a student will have a near-perfect GPA and their writing sample will be full of grammatical errors, poorly constructed, and carelessly proofread.  This student might be able to eke out a strong GPA because of grade inflation, the relative strength of other students at their high school, help from parents, etc.  But they will never have a near-perfect SAT score.  Conversely, a hardworking student with a B-average from a competetive high school who writes well will often have strong test scores.  Without test scores and/or writing samples, the first student would have an advantage in the college application process, when the second student may be working part-time and taking tough classes. There are many exceptions to this rule, but I would like to put myself out there as someone who thinks that tests have merit.
Despite my skepticism, I still want to admit every student I come across, even the ones that struggle with writing (English many not be their first language!) and the ones with low test scores (they could have ADHD and it's just not reasonable to expect them to focus that long!).  At the end of the day, the actual person behind each application is much more important than whatever opinions I have about writing in American high schools and standardized tests.  I am grateful to have a job that reminds me of this every day.