Letters about things I don't understand

There are A LOT of things I don't understand.  Big things, like God's grace and the government scandal in Pakistan, but also little things like the Kia hamsters (what demographic are you meant to appeal to???).  I have also been trying out the idea of writing letters to companies like a crotchety old man or Ted L. Nancy.  Today I have decided to combine the two and write letters about things I don't understand.  This has been a really fun exercise for me, and I highly recommend it!

Dear Wii Sports,
There is no such thing as a Double-Pro in the real world.  Also, you cannot be successful at tennis by simply waving your raquet at the right time.  You have to run toward the ball and put the raquet in the right place.  This is actually, I believe, the hardest part of tennis. 
Sincerely,
Person who has only played the Wii once, and failed

Dear facebook friends,
I don't understand it when you start a status update with "That awkward moment when . . ."  I mean, I get the convention, but I don't know WHY you do it.  And 9 times out of 10, the thing you are describing isn't really awkward, it's something else, like ironic or embarrasing or funny or even awesome.  Example: "That awkward moment when you start dancing in the grocery store and everyone stares" is a really strange thing to write or say.  I would much rather write something like, "Today Travis and I had a dance party in the grocery store.  Travis mostly danced by standing completely still and looking horrified, but I knew he was having a Gene Kelly moment on the inside."
Sincerely,
Someone who comes up with new ways to tell stories just for fun

Dear people who won't drop out of the presidential election, even though it is clear you are not going to win,
I've never unsuccessfully run for president, but I'm pretty sure it's expensive (for the people who support you) and a big time waster (especially if you already have a job that you should be doing, like getting us out of this economic crisis), and that the longer you stay in the race before you drop out the longer people get to make fun of your presidential run on the internet.  Are you trying to win some kind of bet?  Make yourself so visible that you will have a shot at the Vice Presidential nod or a Fox News commentator gig?  Because, like I said before, you pretty much all have day jobs, and it might be worth returning to them.
Sincerely,
Person who really doesn't like to see people put themselves in bad situations

Dear Sasquatch,
I don't get it.  How can you be so awesome all the time?  You are the best dog.
Sincerely,
Someone who tries not to write 100% of her blog posts about her dog, but ends up around 97%