Do you see the dancers?

A strange thing about me is that I see dancers when they are not there. I'm not certain this is abnormal, but I am certain that I didn't always see them, and that Travis has no idea what I'm talking about when we are listening to music and I start telling him what the dancers are doing. Here are some things I have realized:

• I see the dancers from behind, like I am on stage with them
• They are almost always on stage, and are kind of small
• There is usually a pretty specific number of dancers, in a specific age group
• Most beautiful/interesting music will prompt dancers. Sometimes there is no music. But if I am listening to music that is lame, that is a total dancer-block.
• I never notice what the dancers are wearing, but I'm pretty sure they aren't naked. That would really weird me out.
• It's best if I don't listen to music while driving because the dancers can be very distracting.

Sometimes people ask me if I have been doing anything with dance lately, and I know that I am supposed to say no, because I haven't been teaching or choreographing or taking class (other than Jazzercise). But I don't feel like I ever stopped dancing. I feel like dance is happening around me all the time. 

I have an actual choreography project coming up (a very large one), so we'll see if I'm delusional, or if the dancing in my head (and in my living room every evening, and around the office) will translate to something real. Let's do this, dancers.

p.s. If you want to check if you, too, see the dancers, I recommend this song. The dancers cannot sit still when they hear it.

p.p.s. I'm pretty sure the dancers arrived right around the time my parents started sacrificing huge amounts of money and time for me to take 2-4 hours of class a day, even though I was way too old to start dancing. Thanks mom and dad! Once again I am reminded of how lucky I am to be your daughter.

Surprises

Pleasant Surprise: Last weekend I traveled to Western Washington for work. It was a great trip- I got to see my parents and grandma, two of my siblings and my sister-in-law, and all 7 of our nieces and nephews. (They are the COOLEST kids. All of them are on track to be much smarter and taller than me). Both of the fairs I attended for work were great, too- it was my first time at the Latino Youth Summit and the College Bound Conference, and I met a lot of amazing students at each event. Plus I got to hang out with some awesome alumni at the Latino Youth Summit. I had to work straight over the weekend, but overall it was a win! I ordinarily travel out-of-state and fly when I travel for work, so driving and getting a mileage reimbursement were new. I was pleasantly surprised to find that, after the mileage reimbursement, there were some extra funds left over in our budget this month.

Unpleasant Surprise: This morning we had to take Sasquatch to the vet because she was limping so badly she could barely walk. We think she sprained her foot last night playing with our friend's dog in our apartment, though she never yelped or did anything but limp around and twitch her little paw. It was much worse this morning, though, so we took her in. It took up the whole morning, and the visit (including x-rays) cost several hundred dollars. The good news is that she doesn't have any broken bones, so she just needs to be bandaged up for a few days and won't need a cast. But, in the words of Travis, it was a lot of money to pay for peace of mind.

It's exhausting hopping around on three legs!

And then I realized something. If Sassy had been hurt first, and then I would have gone to Tacoma and found out I was earning some extra money this month, I would have immediately realized that God was providing us with exactly what we needed. Because it happened the other way around, though, we had already become attached to that small amount of extra money and decided it was ours. But in reality, it's still God's money. I received a gift and assumed it was just a "random blessing," but it actually had a purpose. Our God is not a random God.

Catching up

• Last night was the Whitworth luau. I did the faculty/staff dance for the 2nd year in a row, and it was a blast. I love working for a school where professors and administrators and staff will get together for practices and learn a dance because they care about the things their students care about. The student dancers were awesome and the food was delicious (though I steered clear of the poi. Food should not be light purple). The Hawaiian club gave us each a beautiful lei shipped in from Hawaii. When I got home Travis and his friends each took a turn wearing it (Travis didn't realize it was made of real flowers and freaked out a bit, which was hilarious). We didn't want Sasquatch to feel left out!

Aloha, Sassy!

• Also, a few months ago Travis decided to get Sasquatch one of those running leashes that attaches to her harness on one end and wraps around your waist on the other end. I resolved never to use this leash, because all I could picture was being dragged through the gravel (probably down a steep hill) by my monster truck of a puppy and having no way to stop it. Yesterday, however, Travis finally convinced me to try it, and guess what? I am actually stronger than Sasquatch. It's true! For the last 2 and a half years that girl has been pulling me around 2-4 times a day, stressing me out, making my arms sore, and on one occasion making me fall into the mud while wearing a yellow wool jacket. But that is just because my arms are weak. Strap her to my waist, and I am capable of standing my ground, even downhill, and even with other dogs around! She did make me fall over today while I was crouching to pick up her poo and two big dogs walked by (it's a good thing I'm not easily embarrassed, because the owner was a woman about my size who was easily restraining both large dogs with her arms, no running leash needed). But otherwise, it was the most relaxing walk we've ever taken together. Well aside from all the walks we take in Indianola with no leash at all. That place is like dog Disneyland.

No harness, even! Sasquatch is terrified of her harness, so she LOVES walks in Indianola

• I've been having some tests done to help explain some recent fainting (unfortunately, fainting is not as glamorous or romantic as I assumed it would be) and we've discovered that I am awesome at having my blood drawn. The lab technicians always get so excited about my veins! If we were in a vampire movie, I think this means that I'd be the first victim.
• This morning I finished reading The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak. I have read several student essays this year recommending this book, but held off for a while because I often avoid books about heavy topics. And The Book Thief is set in Germany during World War II. After reading about 3 pages of this book, I could tell that it was going to make me very weepy (which it did), but also that it was full of whimsy and joy and inventive language and that it was going to be funny in a very dark, honest way.

Okay, time to eat something (my doctor said I should eat every 2-3 hours. Isn't that awesome? I have been all over that).

Gaining it back

A few weeks ago I was skimming through old blog posts (looking for early photos of my puppy), and I found a post entitled Losing It. That seemed like a pretty melodramatic title for a blog post, so I read it, and then I read a few other headache-related posts from the past few years, and I realized that I have something here in this blog. On my phone and on paper I have kept headache journals, but they are mostly just dates and times and numbers and short lists of possible triggers. What I have here is a complement to those notes, a sporadic (and also pretty optimistic, if I do say so myself) journal of they way my headaches have made me feel. In August 2009 I was tough and tired and experiencing so much pain at work that I proposed moving to Oklahoma and eating only soybeans if it would help my head. In August 2010 I was nervous about moving across the country and starting a new job (with no plans to keep dancing), but I knew I couldn't keep teaching or working two jobs anymore. In September 2010 my headaches were coming back with a vengeance after a few relatively mild months, but God was giving me exactly what I needed.
Reading over these little notes really helps put things in perspective. Going gluten free has been hard and has put a strain on my food budget, but three years ago I was sincerely willing to eat only soybeans if it would decrease the frequency of my headaches. Now I'm down to about one headache a week. The new job I started almost two years ago turned out to be a perfect fit for me, and allows more flexibility when I am in pain than I ever imagined. And I haven't experienced anything like the pain of that "worst headache" I wrote about in September 2010 in over a year (I haven't recorded a pain score higher than 8 in my headache journal since Thanksgiving!). A few years ago, I was losing it (my ability to get up and go to work, my confidence in ever finding relief, and probably my sanity), but now I am gaining it back. I don't know how long it will last, but I am grateful for the reminder of where I have been and where God has carried me.

Peace is this beach on a partly-cloudy day.